Joan Bernice Steedman Neilson

In The Meaning of Your Life, by Arthur C. Brooks, he says, “Become a student of beauty, and it will reveal the meaning of your life.” Joan Bernice Steedman Neilson dedicated her life to studying, seeking, and creating beauty - at home, in nature, through her faith, in healthy living, and by surrounding herself with family. At age 90 she left a legacy of earthly beauty to join her eternal companion, Jay Wallace “Wally” Neilson, on September 4, 2026, one day shy of two years since his passing. Our whole family misses them terribly, but they are not whole without one another.

Mom was born among humble circumstances on April 26, 1936 in Eureka, Utah in her grandmother's home. She was the second of five children of Joseph Victor Steedman and Rhea Bernice Towers who raised their family steeped in Scottish and English roots of resiliency, tradition, dry wit, hard work, frugality, and yes, stubbornness. Despite strict parenting, Mom pushed the boundaries as a “tom boy” to explore sports, nature, and trouble with her older brother and his friends. She also had a close circle of girlfriends. She could be feisty but she could hold her own even if that meant taking or throwing a punch now and then. Mom was close to her mother, two brothers, and two sisters throughout her life. Together, their dry humor entertained everyone around.

Our dad, Wally, met 16-year-old Joan after being called to be her Sunday School teacher upon his return from his mission. He knew right away that he was going to marry her despite their seven year age gap. After a brief courtship and with resounding approval from Mom’s parents, Mom and Dad were married on August 20, 1953 in the Salt Lake Temple. They spent 71 years building their life together.

“There is beauty all around when there’s love at home” are words of a favorite hymn Mom aspired to achieve, and the final song she requested her family sing to her before she passed away. While sacrifice and effort were clearly present, there was no rest for her as the primary homemaker raising a family of nine children while Dad traveled for the Air Force, furthered his education, and worked numerous jobs to financially support the family. From a bottomless well of energy and by example, Mom insisted that their family have a strong work ethic, keep a spotless home, eat nutritional homemade meals together, and keep a pristine yard that could rival a city park, all of which required constant attention, hard work, and enforcement.

Even as the family multiplied, Mom enjoyed being surrounded by those she loved. She and Dad always had full tables and tummies, counters and freezers full of homemade desserts, and a yard full of parked cars and loud laughter. It didn’t matter how many family members were in attendance, Mom had a knack for knowing who wasn’t there, and she would let them know. Family traditions gave Mom much to look forward to: Fish Lake, Christmas tree cutting in her beloved Eureka, the annual deer hunt, playing games, calling each family member on their birthday, decorating the house for every holiday, dipping chocolates, and Sunday dinners, to name a few. She rarely sat long enough to enjoy family gatherings, but she loved the chaos of everyone being together.

The pronounced scent of Saturday Pine-Sol, Sunday pot roast, and baked pine nuts in winter were equal comforts of home to the constant sounds of music. Mom recognized the beauty that music brings into a home. Regardless of the financial burden, she saw to it that all nine children took piano lessons for 10 years. When the black and white ivories weren’t amplifying other household noises, Mom would turn on the stereo with music from her favorite artists, with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir being a staple on Sundays. Though not formally trained, Mom had a beautiful, harmonious alto voice. She auditioned and was chosen to join the Salt Lake Symphonic Choir which she enjoyed immensely as she loved to tour and perform. She also spent years singing in a women's performing group, The Decibels. Mom loved the magic of Broadway and live performances. Music was the art that spoke to her soul and where she found peace and fulfillment.

Mom was a natural beauty with olive skin and deep brown eyes. She rarely left the house without putting on lipstick and combing her perfectly arched eyebrows. Even in her later years, her wavy snow white hair caught attention. She loved to shop and shop, especially for clothes and accessories. She was far ahead of the current-day fitness trends by tuning into Jack LaLanne, Evelyn Allen, and other fitness TV shows in the 60s and 70s. The fitness bug bit hardest with the Jazzercise craze which she proudly attended as the oldest in the class in her 70s. Neighbors in Bluffdale often spotted and waved to Mom as she jogged or walked “around the block” with Dad well into her 80s. Even during the week of her passing, she mustered up the strength to walk as far as she could along Redwood Road.

With an unwavering belief in her Savior and Heavenly Father, Mom remained committed to Dad, family, and her LDS faith until her last breath. Dad took every opportunity to tell her and the family that he wouldn’t be who he was without Mom’s sacrifice and support. She was dedicated to her church callings throughout her life and loved to go to the temple. Some of her most cherished memories were centered around missionary service with Dad, including a church military mission in Aberdeen, Maryland and at the Visitor Center on Temple Square. They were also temple workers at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple. Mom was patriotic and proud to be a military wife, a long-time member of Bluffdale D.U.P., and she enjoyed volunteering for civic duty at Bluffdale’s voting polls.

Mom is survived by her children, Michelle, Marilyn Monson (Bruce), Miki, Jay Jr., Miriam Quist (Paul), Melanie Oliver (Richard), Shawn (Heather), Marci Peacock (Robert), and Scott (Tiffany), and is adored by 31 grandchildren and 33 great grandchildren, and their partners. She is also survived by her sisters, Muriel Kaye Markel and Vicki Jo Nielson. She is preceded in death by her husband, Jay Wallace Neilson, as well as her parents, her brothers, Guy and Kent, and grandparents who are joyfully celebrating her return home.

Friends and family are invited to a viewing on Friday, September 11, from 6 - 8 p.m. Funeral services will be held on Saturday, September 12, at 11 a.m. with a viewing prior to the services from 9:30 - 10:30 a.m. All services will be held at the Bluffdale LDS Church located at 14400 South Redwood Road.

As a family we want to express our deep gratitude to kind and helpful neighbors, and to the caring members of the Bluffdale 2nd Ward for their loving service given to our mom, dad, and family.

The funeral service will be streamed live at:
https://evt.live/joan-neilson